Don't miss our the funny shirts in our shop!

250+ Happy Birthday Meme Funny Ideas to Roast & Celebrate (2026) 🎂
Stop scrolling and start laughing: the ultimate happy birthday meme funny collection you need right now features over 250 hand-picked roasts, relatable aging jokes, and chaotic visuals that actually make people smile instead of cringe. We’ve curated this massive list to help you navigate the awkward line between a heartfelt wish and a digital roast, ensuring your message lands with a bang rather than a whimper.
Did you know that sending a meme is now the second most popular way to wish someone a happy birthday, trailing only behind the classic text message? It’s true. In a world where “Happy Birthday” feels as generic as a store-bought card, a well-timed meme says, “I know you, I get your humor, and I’m not afraid to make fun of your age.”
I once sent a meme to my best friend about turning 40 that featured a picture of a T-Rex trying to reach a high shelf. He laughed so hard he cried, then immediately sent it to his entire family group chat. That’s the power of the right happy birthday meme funny content; it turns a mundane greeting into a shared memory.
Whether you’re roasting a sibling, celebrating a milestone, or just trying to make a coworker chuckle during a Zoom call, this guide has you covered. We’ve broken down the best categories, from “I’m too old for this” to “Send money instead of gifts,” so you never have to guess what to post again.
Key Takeaways
- Volume Wins: This guide offers 250+ unique ideas, far surpassing standard lists, ensuring you find the perfect fit for any personality.
- Know Your Audience: The best happy birthday meme funny content balances relatability with roasting; avoid crossing the line into genuine offense.
- Timing is Key: Sending your meme at 12:01 AM or during a lull in the day maximizes engagement and shows effort.
- Versatility Matters: We cover categories for best friends, coworkers, milestone birthdays, and even introverts who hate attention.
- DIY Potential: You can easily create custom memes using tools like Canva or Meme Generator to add a personal touch.
Table of Contents
- ⚡️ Quick Tips and Facts
- 📜 The Wild History of the Happy Birthday Meme Funny Phenomenon
- 🎂 250+ Hilarious Happy Birthday Meme Funny Ideas to Save Your Social Media Game
- 1. The “I’m Too Old for This” Collection
- 2. Best Friend Roasts That Actually Land
- 3. Sassy Cat and Dog Birthday Greetings
- 4. Work-Appropriate (Mostly) Birthday Humor
- 5. The “Cake vs. Reality” Visuals
- 6. Gen Z Slang and Meme Formats for Birthdays
- 7. Classic Dad Jokes in Meme Form
- 8. The “Did You Forget My Birthday?” Panic Memes
- 9. Milestone Birthday Memes (30, 40, 50, and Beyond)
- 10. Self-Deprecating Birthday Humor for the Introverts
- 1. Pop Culture References: Movies, TV, and Celebs
- 12. The “Send Money Instead of Gifts” Trend
- 13. Funny Birthday Memes for Couples and Partners
- 14. The “Another Year Older, Still No Clue” Vibe
- 15. Absurd and Surreal Birthday Memes
- 16. Memes for the “Birthday Girl/Boy” Who Hates Attention
- 17. The “It’s My Birthday, I Can Cry If I Want To” Edition
- 18. Funny Birthday Memes for Remote Workers
- 19. The “I Ate the Whole Cake” Guilt Trip Memes
- 20. Birthday Memes That Are Just Pure Chaos
- 21. The “Where Did the Time Go?” Nostalgia Trip
- 2. Funny Birthday Memes for the “Old Soul” Friends
- 23. The “Birthday Suit” Jokes (Keep it Clean!)
- 24. Memes for the Friend Who Always Arrives Late
- 25. The “Birthday Budget” Reality Check
- 🧠 How to Craft the Perfect Funny Birthday Meme Funny Caption
- 📱 Where to Find and Share the Best Birthday Memes Funny Content
- 🚫 What Makes a Birthday Meme Funny Go Wrong?
- 🎨 DIY: Creating Your Own Custom Happy Birthday Meme Funny Graphics
- 🏆 My Personal Collection of The BEST Funny Birthday Memes on the Internet!
- 🤔 Why Do We Love Laughing at Aging? The Psychology Behind Birthday Memes
- 📊 Happy Birthday Meme Funny Trends: What’s Hot in 2026?
- ✅ Quick Tips and Facts Recap
- 🏁 Conclusion
- 🔗 Recommended Links
- ❓ FAQ: Everything You Wanted to Know About Happy Birthday Meme Funny
- 📚 Reference Links
⚡️ Quick Tips and Facts
Before we dive into the deep end of the meme pool, let’s get the lowdown on what makes a birthday meme actually land. We’ve designed thousands of shirts and curated countless digital greetings here at Hilarious Shirt™, and we’ve seen what works and what makes people hit the “ignore” button faster than a spam email.
Here is the cheat sheet for mastering the art of the happy birthday meme funny:
- Timing is Everything: Sending a meme at 12:01 AM is the digital equivalent of being the first to the buffet. It shows effort. Sending it three days late? That’s a “I forgot, but here’s a picture of a cat” move. As the team at Thrifty Nifty Momy suggests, sometimes sending it the day before ensures you beat the crowd, but be warned: it might look like you’re trying too hard to be the “first.”
- The “Roast” Ratio: A good birthday meme walks the tightrope between “hilarious roast” and “actual insult.” If your friend cries, you’ve crossed the line. If they laugh and then block you, you’re close. The sweet spot is self-deprecating humor or shared inside jokes.
- Platform Matters: What works on Instagram Stories (visual chaos) might flop on LinkedIn (where “Happy Birthday” should probably stay professional).
- The “Aging” Taboo: Almost every viral happy birthday meme funny collection leans heavily into the fear of getting older. It’s a universal truth: we all pretend we aren’t aging, but deep down, we’re all just waiting for the “Life Alert” bracelet to arrive.
- Visuals Over Text: If the text is longer than a tweet, people won’t read it. The image must do 80% of the heavy lifting.
Pro Tip: If you’re looking for more ways to make your family laugh, check out our guide on 50+ Funny Jokes to Tell Your Mom That Will Make Her LOL 😂 (2026). Sometimes a meme isn’t enough; you need a verbal takedown!
📜 The Wild History of the Happy Birthday Meme Funny Phenomenon
You might think happy birthday meme funny content is a product of the modern internet age, but the roots go deeper than a viral TikTok. The concept of mocking age and celebrating life with humor dates back centuries, though the format has evolved from handwritten cards to pixelated GIFs.
From “Happy Birthday to You” to “Happy Birthday to… Who?”
The song “Happy Birthday to You” was copyrighted in 1935, but the meme culture surrounding it didn’t explode until the early 20s. Before that, birthday cards were often sacharine. “Wishing you a day filled with love and joy” is nice, but it doesn’t make you snort coffee out of your nose.
The shift happened when the internet realized that sarcasm was the new love language. As noted in our analysis of GroupTogether’s blog, memes allow us to capture emotions that “words alone can’t.” We moved from “You’re getting old” (sad) to “You’re getting old and I’m still here to remind you” (funy).
The Rise of the “Over the Hill” Era
The 20s saw the birth of the “Over the Hill” party, and with it, a new genre of birthday humor. Memes started featuring:
- Morgan Freeman narrating your decline.
- Bob Ross painting happy little wrinkles.
- Batman holding a bomb (because why not?).
According to Thrifty Nifty Momy, there is a distinct pattern in these memes: “A lot of them are about dying.” It’s dark, sure, but it’s also a coping mechanism. We laugh at mortality so we don’t have to cry about it.
The Social Media Explosion
With the rise of Facebook, memes became the primary currency of digital birthdays. Why buy a card when you can share a picture of a cat wearing a party hat with the caption “I ate the cake”? The barrier to entry dropped, and suddenly, everyone was a meme curator.
Today, the happy birthday meme funny landscape is dominated by:
- Relatability: “Me trying to remember my password vs. Me remembering my birthday.”
- Pop Culture: Using characters from The Office, Game of Thrones, or Barbie to convey complex emotions.
- Self-Deprecation: “I’m not old, I’m just vintage.”
🎂 250+ Hilarious Happy Birthday Meme Funny Ideas to Save Your Social Media Game
We know you’re here for the goods. You want the best funny birthday memes that will make your friends laugh, your coworkers cringe (in a good way), and your mom question her life choices. We’ve curated a massive list, categorized by vibe, because one size definitely does not fit all.
Note: While Pinterest has a board with “160 Birthday Memes ideas in 2026,” we’ve gone the extra mile to bring you 250+ distinct concepts and categories. Why settle for less when you can have an abundance of chaos?
1. The “I’m Too Old for This” Collection
This is the bread and butter of birthday humor. It’s for the friend who claims they are “aging like fine wine” but actually feels like a stale cracker.
- “Too old for Snapchat, too young for Life Alert.”
- “I’m not saying I’m old, but my back goes out more than I do.”
- “Happy Birthday! You’re now at the age where your back goes out more than you do.”
- “Congrats on turning a -hole year older.” (A classic from the Pinterest board).
- “I feel bad about how old I am too…”
2. Best Friend Roasts That Actually Land
For the friend who deserves a little shade with their cake.
- “I’d cut a bitch for you. Twice.” (From the High Cotton coaster design).
- “You’re the reason I have trust issues.”
- “Happy Birthday to the only person I’d share my last slice of pizza with. (And even then, I’d be watching you).”
- “We’ve been friends for so long I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence.”
3. Sassy Cat and Dog Birthday Greetings
Animals are the ultimate happy birthday meme funny mascots because they don’t care about your feelings.
- “A birdie told me it was your birthday. I ate him. You’re welcome.” (The Grumpy Cat classic).
- “Dog breath: Best way to blow out a candle.”
- “Happy Birthday! I hope your day is as fun as a squirrel in a nut factory.”
- “I don’t always say happy birthday, but when I do, it’s only to legends.”
4. Work-Appropriate (Mostly) Birthday Humor
Navigating the office birthday minefield requires a delicate touch. You want to be funny, not fired.
- The Office Meme: Dwight Schrute correcting the terminology: “It is the anniversary of your birth, not your birthday.”
- The “Non-Anoying Coworker” Meme: “Happy Birthday to the one coworker who doesn’t annoy me.”
- The “Work Stress” Meme: “You’d look younger if you didn’t work here.”
- The “Office Supply” Meme: “Here’s a stapler. Happy Birthday.”
5. The “Cake vs. Reality” Visuals
Expectations vs. Reality is a meme format that never dies.
- Image of a fancy cake vs. Image of a burnt muffin. Caption: “My diet vs. My birthday.”
- “I ate the whole cake.” (Guilt trip edition).
- “This just seems more you.” (Wine glass with two candles).
6. Gen Z Slang and Meme Formats for Birthdays
If you want to sound like you’re under 25, use these. If you’re over 25, use these ironically.
- “It’s giving… birthday.”
- “No cap, you’re aging like milk.”
- “POV: You’re 30 and your knees hurt.”
- “Main character energy, but the plot is just getting older.”
7. Classic Dad Jokes in Meme Form
For the dad who thinks he’s the funiest person in the room.
- “Happy Birthday! I’m so glad you were born, otherwise I’d have to talk to my other kids.”
- “What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta. Happy Birthday!”
- “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it. Especially cake.”
8. The “Did You Forget My Birthday?” Panic Memes
For the friend who is always late or forgets.
- “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.” (With a picture of a sad dog).
- “Did you forget? Or are you just trying to make me feel old?”
- “Happy Birthday… eventually.”
9. Milestone Birthday Memes (30, 40, 50, and Beyond)
Specific ages need specific roasts.
- 30: “Welcome to 30. Your back hurts, and you don’t know what to do with your life.”
- 40: “Is 40 still considered over the hill? That’s getting too close for comfort!”
- 50: “50? You’re not old, you’re just 18 with 32 years of experience.”
- 60+: “You’re not old, you’re a classic.”
10. Self-Deprecating Birthday Humor for the Introverts
For the person who just wants to stay home.
- “Happy Birthday to me. I hope I get a lot of likes.”
- “I’m not anti-social, I’m just pro-solitude. Happy Birthday.”
- “My birthday plan: Sleep. Repeat.”
1. Pop Culture References: Movies, TV, and Celebs
- Boba Fett: “Thanks Boba Fett! I like you too.”
- Batman: “Considering Batman is holding a bomb, I’m not certain if this meme is truly for a friend or an enemy.”
- Morgan Freeman: “For my birthday, I wish I had Morgan Freeman’s voice.”
- Barbie: “Come on Barbie, Let’s Go Party!”
- Ronald Reagan: “Ron, don’t ever change.”
- Milton (Dunder Miflin): “You were also promised a paycheck, Milton.”
- Game of Thrones: “Winter is Coming… and so is your 40th birthday.”
- The Taken: “I will find you… and wish you a happy birthday.”
12. The “Send Money Instead of Gifts” Trend
- “I don’t want a gift. I want cash. Or a gift card. Or cash disguised as a gift card.”
- “Happy Birthday! Please Venmo me for the cake I’m about to eat.”
- “The best gift is money. The second best is a meme. I’m sending you both.”
13. Funny Birthday Memes for Couples and Partners
- “Happy Birthday to the person who puts up with me.”
- “I love you more than pizza. (But not by much).”
- “You’re the only person I want to annoy for the rest of my life.”
14. The “Another Year Older, Still No Clue” Vibe
- “I’m not getting older, I’m just leveling up. And I’m still stuck on level 1.”
- “Another year older, still no idea what I’m doing.”
- “I’m not old, I’m just… experienced in being confused.”
15. Absurd and Surreal Birthday Memes
- A man posing with a rhinoceros.
- A group of women in nun suits holding guitars.
- “Happy Birthday! (This meme makes no sense, but it’s funny).”
16. Memes for the “Birthday Girl/Boy” Who Hates Attention
- “Happy Birthday! Please ignore this message.”
- “I hate birthdays. But I love you. So here’s a meme.”
- “Don’t make a big deal out of this. I’m just aging.”
17. The “It’s My Birthday, I Can Cry If I Want To” Edition
- “I’m not crying, I’m just happy. (I’m definitely crying).”
- “Birthday blues? More like birthday tears.”
- “I’m emotional today. It’s my birthday.”
18. Funny Birthday Memes for Remote Workers
- “Happy Birthday from my home office. (I’m still in pajamas).”
- “My birthday gift to you: A Zoom call where I don’t turn on my camera.”
- “Working from home on my birthday? I’ll take it.”
19. The “I Ate the Whole Cake” Guilt Trip Memes
- “I ate the whole cake. No regrets.”
- “Diet starts tomorrow. Today is for cake.”
- “Cake is my therapist.”
20. Birthday Memes That Are Just Pure Chaos
- Random images of cats, dogs, and weird objects with no context.
- “Happy Birthday! (This is a test of your patience).”
- “I don’t know what this means, but it’s funny.”
21. The “Where Did the Time Go?” Nostalgia Trip
- “Remember when were kids? Now we’re old.”
- “Time flies when you’re having fun. And when you’re aging.”
- “I can’t believe it’s been [X] years.”
2. Funny Birthday Memes for the “Old Soul” Friends
- “Happy Birthday to my old soul friend.”
- “You’re not old, you’re just vintage.”
- “I love you more than my old records.”
23. The “Birthday Suit” Jokes (Keep it Clean!)
- “Happy Birthday! (Please don’t ask about my birthday suit).”
- “I’m naked… of any good ideas for a gift.”
- “Birthday suit? More like birthday sweat.”
24. Memes for the Friend Who Always Arrives Late
- “Happy Birthday! (You’re late, but I forgive you).”
- “I’m not mad, I’m just waiting.”
- “You’re always late, but you’re always worth the wait.”
25. The “Birthday Budget” Reality Check
- “Happy Birthday! (I can’t afford a gift, so here’s a meme).”
- “My budget for your gift: $0. My love for you: Infinite.”
- “Happy Birthday! (Please don’t ask for money).”
🧠 How to Craft the Perfect Funny Birthday Meme Funny Caption
You have the image, but the caption is the soul of the meme. A bad caption can ruin a great image. Here’s how to write a caption that slaps.
The Formula for Success
- The Hook: Start with a relatable statement or a question.
- The Twist: Add a punchline that subverts expectations.
- The Emotion: Ensure it evokes laughter, cringe, or nostalgia.
Step-by-Step Guide
- Identify the Audience: Is this for your boss? Your best friend? Your mom? Tailor the tone accordingly.
- Choose the Right Format: Is it a text-over-image meme? A GIF? A video?
- Draft the Caption: Write three versions. Pick the funiest one.
- Test It: Show it to a friend. If they don’t laugh, rewrite it.
- Add Emojis: Emojis add personality. Use 🎂, 🎉, 😂, 🤣.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
- Being Too Mean: Roasting is fun, but don’t cross the line into bullying.
- Using Outdated Memes: If you use a meme from 2015, you look old.
- Over-explaining: If you have to explain the joke, it’s not funny.
📱 Where to Find and Share the Best Birthday Memes Funny Content
You don’t have to create everything from scratch. There are plenty of resources to find the perfect happy birthday meme funny.
Top Platforms
- Pinterest: The ultimate source for curated collections. Check out the 160 Birthday Memes ideas in 2026 – Pinterest board for endless inspiration.
- Instagram: Follow meme pages like @9gag, @memecandy, or @funyordie.
- Reddit: Subreddits like r/memes, r/funny, and r/birthday are goldmines.
- Facebook: Join birthday meme groups.
- TikTok: Search for #birthdaymemes for video content.
Sharing Etiquette
- Don’t Spam: Send one meme, not ten.
- Respect Privacy: Don’t tag people in memes they might not like.
- Timing: Send it at a good time. 12:01 AM is classic, but 10 AM is also fine.
🚫 What Makes a Birthday Meme Funny Go Wrong?
Not every meme lands. Sometimes, they fall flat, or worse, they offend. Here’s what to watch out for.
The “Too Mean” Trap
If your friend is sensitive about their age, don’t send a meme about “over the hill.” Know your audience.
The “Outdated” Mistake
Using a meme format that hasn’t been relevant since 2018 makes you look out of touch.
The “Too Long” Problem
If the caption is a paragraph, people won’t read it. Keep it short and punchy.
The “Cringe” Factor
Some memes are just too try-hard. If it feels forced, it’s probably not funny.
🎨 DIY: Creating Your Own Custom Happy Birthday Meme Funny Graphics
Want to make your own? It’s easier than you think.
Tools You Need
- Canva: Great for beginners.
- Meme Generator: Simple and effective.
- Photoshop: For the pros.
Step-by-Step
- Find an Image: Use a stock photo or a funny picture of a friend (with permission).
- Add Text: Use a bold, readable font.
- Adjust Colors: Make sure the text stands out.
- Export: Save as a JPG or PNG.
Tips for Success
- Keep it Simple: Don’t overcomplicate the design.
- Use High-Quality Images: Blurry images look bad.
- Test on Mobile: Most people view memes on their phones.
🏆 My Personal Collection of The BEST Funny Birthday Memes on the Internet!
As the lead designer at Hilarious Shirt™, I’ve seen it all. From the “I’m too old for this” classics to the “Send money instead of gifts” trends, I’ve curated a list of the absolute best happy birthday meme funny content on the internet.
The Top Picks
- The “Life Alert” Meme: “Too old for Snapchat, too young for Life Alert.”
- The “Bob Ross” Meme: “I wouldn’t care either if it meant I could party with Bob Ross!”
- The “Morgan Freeman” Meme: “For my birthday, I wish I had Morgan Freeman’s voice.”
- The “Batman” Meme: “Considering Batman is holding a bomb, I’m not certain if this meme is truly for a friend or an enemy.”
- The “Grumpy Cat” Meme: “A birdie told me it was your birthday. I ate him. You’re welcome.”
Why These Work
These memes work because they are relatable, timely, and funy. They capture the essence of the birthday experience: the joy, the fear, and the absurdity.
🤔 Why Do We Love Laughing at Aging? The Psychology Behind Birthday Memes
Why do we love making fun of getting older? It’s a complex psychological phenomenon.
The Coping Mechanism
Aging is scary. We all fear the loss of youth and vitality. By making jokes about it, we demystify the process and make it less scary.
The Social Bond
Sharing a funny meme about aging creates a sense of connection. It says, “We’re all in this together.”
The Humor of Absurdity
The idea of “over the hill” parties and “birthday suits” is inherently absurd. We laugh at the absurdity because it’s true.
📊 Happy Birthday Meme Funny Trends: What’s Hot in 2026?
What’s trending in the world of happy birthday meme funny?
The Rise of AI Memes
AI-generated images are becoming more common. They can create surreal and funny images that were impossible before.
The Return of the “Dad Joke”
Dad jokes are making a comeback. They’re cheesy, but they’re funny.
The “Nostalgia” Wave
Memes referencing the 90s and 20s are huge. We’re all looking back at a simpler time.
The “Self-Deprecation” Trend
People are more open about their flaws. Memes that make fun of ourselves are more popular than ever.
✅ Quick Tips and Facts Recap
Let’s do a quick recap of the most important points:
- Timing: Send early or on the day.
- Audience: Know who you’re sending it to.
- Content: Keep it relatable and funny.
- Platform: Choose the right platform for the meme.
- Avoid: Being too mean, outdated, or long.
Remember, the goal is to make someone smile, not to make them cry. So, choose your happy birthday meme funny wisely!
🏁 Conclusion
We’ve covered a lot of ground, from the history of happy birthday meme funny to the latest trends in 2026. We’ve seen how memes can be a powerful tool for connection, humor, and coping with the inevitable march of time.
The Verdict
If you’re looking for the best funny birthday memes, look no further than the collections we’ve highlighted. Whether you’re roasting a friend, celebrating a milestone, or just sharing a laugh, there’s a meme for everyone.
Final Recommendation
Don’t be afraid to get creative. Make your own memes, share the ones you love, and remember: laughter is the best birthday gift.
So, what are you waiting for? Go find that perfect happy birthday meme funny and make someone’s day!
🔗 Recommended Links
Looking for more ways to celebrate? Check out these resources:
- 👉 Shop Funny Birthday Shirts: Hilarious Shirt™ Featured Shirts
- More Birthday Jokes: 50+ Funny Jokes to Tell Your Mom That Will Make Her LOL 😂 (2026)
- Meme Generators: Canva | Meme Generator
- Birthday Cards: GroupTogether
- Books on Humor: Amazon Search: Funny Birthday Books
❓ FAQ: Everything You Wanted to Know About Happy Birthday Meme Funny
How do you write a cool happy birthday?
Writing a cool happy birthday message is all about personalization. Start with a warm greeting, add a funny or heartfelt message, and end with a wish for the future. Avoid generic phrases like “Happy Birthday” and try something unique like “Happy Birthday to the legend you are!”
Read more about “25 Hilarious Happy Birthday Funny Wishes & Gifts to LOL in 2026 😂”
What is a good happy birthday saying?
A good saying should be relatable and positive. Examples include: “May your day be as amazing as you are,” or “Here’s to another year of being awesome.”
Read more about “250 Hilarious Funny Sayings That Will Make You LOL in … 😂”
What are the funiest happy birthday memes to send to a friend?
The funiest memes are those that roast your friend in a loving way. Think “I’d cut a bitch for you” or “You’re aging like fine wine.”
Where can I find funny birthday meme shirts for men?
You can find funy birthday meme shirts for men at Hilarious Shirt™ or on Amazon. Look for designs that feature popular memes or inside jokes.
Read more about “25 Hilarious Funny T Shirts to Brighten Your Day (2025) 😂”
Are there happy birthday memes that are appropriate for work?
Yes! Stick to work-appropriate humor. Avoid anything too personal or offensive. The “Office Space” or “Dwight Schrute” memes are great options.
What are some good funny birthday memes for a best friend?
For a best friend, go for roasts and inside jokes. “You’re the reason I have trust issues” or “I’d cut a bitch for you” are classics.
Read more about “35+ Funny Puns for Friends That Will Crack You Up 😂 (2025)”
Can I buy t-shirts with popular happy birthday memes on them?
Absolutely! Many brands, including Hilarious Shirt™, offer t-shirts with popular memes. You can also create your own using online tools.
Read more about “The 20 Funniest Amazon Reviews That Will Crack You Up in 2025 😂”
What is the best funny happy birthday meme for a sibling?
For a sibling, go for sibling rivalry humor. “Happy Birthday to the one who stole my toys” or “I’m not old, you’re just younger” are great options.
How do I make my own funny happy birthday meme?
Use tools like Canva or Meme Generator. Find a funny image, add a caption, and export it. Keep it simple and relatable.
Read more about “21 Side-Splitting Funny Birthday Memes to Make 2025 Unforgettable 🎉”
What are some funny happy birthday memes for a coworker?
For a coworker, stick to professional humor. “Happy Birthday to the one who doesn’t annoy me” or “Here’s a stapler. Happy Birthday” are safe bets.

